Building Healthy Relationships With Your Children

Our children will never care how much we know, until they know how much we care.

Being a parent, taking care of our homes, working, and providing for the daily needs of the family–all add up to really full days and a lot of busyness. Sometimes our focus is on all the “WHATS” that need to be done, rather than on the “WHOS” that are our reason for doing all we do.

Building healthy relationships with our children can always be a top priority. The tricky thing is that these important relationships can’t be forced to turn out a certain way. What matters most in a relationship with one child, will probably not be as significant to another. Human beings are organic and ever-changing. Children, by nature, are designed to be messy and unpredictable, playful, and imaginative―and to be very different from us and from each other. Thus, we strive to create unique and meaningful relationships with each of our children that will grow and change over time.

Knowing what makes each child feel special, valued, and loved and then acting in love to fill those needs will help the relationship flourish. These are skills that can become reciprocal over time. None of us need to be perfect, just sincere in our efforts.

“Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a child

to be loved.”

I have a dear friend that had a gift for letting each of her children know they were her favorites. Whether she was on the phone, washing dishes, or teaching piano lessons, when any of her children needed her, she would respond immediately with genuine, loving attention to them. After the child’s needs were met, she would return to her other work. Her family knew they were her top priority. Her children showed so much respect and love for her, and toward each other, because of her example to them. It was magical to witness. My friend showed me how to focus more on connection, rather than correction.

Things to Consider